You think and act with them in mind because their wants and needs are as important as your own in relation to the partnership you have. If it only lust you are feeling, you would consider yourself more like ships passing in the night, not having too much interaction other than at those times when you are together.
When you love someone, you try to step into their shoes and understand why they are behaving in a particular way or what their struggles are.
You want to understand them so that you might be able to help them. This is compassion, which is where love and empathy meet. But lust is a very self-centered emotion.
The deep and lasting emotion of love is a catalyst that pushes both partners to want to improve themselves. They want to become better people so that they can be better partners to each other.
Love inspires us to see our flaws and act to eliminate them as much as we can. It also inspires boundless support for our partner in their efforts to grow and develop as a person. We want to be there to help lift them up as they attempt to reach new heights.
Lust has no time for growth. Growth takes time whilst lust is looking for instant gratification of a physical and sexual nature. Lust alone will never push you to put in the hard work that is required to better yourself. How the other person feels matters deeply to someone who is in love. You want them to be happy because knowing that they are happy is good for your own emotional well-being.
Likewise, when they are not happy, you may take on some of their stress or sadness or anxiety or grief. You will want to help them heal, even though you know that it is their emotion to deal with by themselves at the end of the day.
Once they get what they want, they tend not to stick around long enough to concern themselves with how the other person is doing deep down. Love, however, means you want to get to know all sides of someone. You can tell an awful lot about someone by the people they surround themselves with and those they count amongst their good friends. If things get serious, their family are likely to become a big part of your life. When you care deeply for someone, you accept that there will be times when they really get on your nerves.
And some of those times will result in an argument. But you are in this relationship because you value having this person in your life. You know that even the healthiest of relationships will involve some disagreements and that this is not always a bad thing because it teaches you more about each other and where your boundaries are.
Lust, on the other hand, is all about pleasure. There can be, but that is based mostly on behavior, not the actual feeling itself. How can folks experience lust without acting upon it but still expressing or honoring it healthily? First, always ask for consent before initiating any physical or sexual behavior with another person. Openly communicate your desires with partners and potential partners to avoid miscommunications or incompatibility.
When initiating the conversation about lust with a partner, prioritize honesty and transparency about your feelings. A conversation is critical if you feel lust toward a person outside of your relationship because it will allow you to address underlying reasons or whether your partner would be comfortable with you acting on that attraction.
In an effort to reduce the likelihood of conflict or infidelity, Zajac recommends not just asking your partner if you can engage in a sexual relationship with someone else, but instead, let them know that you're experiencing attraction toward another person.
Once again, honesty is key here. If you want to act on your lustful feelings with your partner or potential partner, it's entirely possible to accomplish that without causing issues.
Here are some ways in which you can express lust in a healthy way to your partner or potential partner:. Although lust is a natural emotion most people eventually experience, it's important to be careful of how you act on it.
If lust is not expressed healthily or respectfully, instances of discomfort, abuse, or other issues may arise. Follow these tips to stay mindful of how and when not to express lust toward someone:. Depending on the situation, there can be small to severe consequences after acting on lust. To avoid unwanted and undesirable results, you will want to go slower in your sexual and romantic relationships.
Journaling and self-reflection can also help you understand your emotions and whether or not you are actively experiencing lust or something else. Lust is a common, natural biological reaction that can offer many benefits. Whether you're single or in a committed partnership, acting on lust in a healthy way can transform your relationship depending on how you navigate it. If you still find yourself wanting to act on your feelings of lust when the opportunity may end up being destructive or might cause harm, consider seeking the help of a relationship therapist or psychologist.
This person may assist you in understanding where these feelings are coming from and what you can do to express it in a healthy way moving forward. Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellMind. At any time, you can update your settings through the "EU Privacy" link at the bottom of any page. These choices will be signaled globally to our partners and will not affect browsing data.
We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Table of Contents View All. Table of Contents. What Is Lust? Lust vs. Signs of Lust. If the other person is going through a hard time and you find yourself suffering right along with them, that's an indicator that your emotional wellbeing is intertwined. You want to include them in events that are important to you. Maybe you're thinking about how you want to use your vacation days and you can't imagine traveling without the other person, or you have a big event at work coming up you want them to attend with you.
These are signs that you want to share moments that mean something to you with someone you wait for it love. You aren't afraid to get vulnerable. Both experts say vulnerability is a key marker of love. If you feel safe and secure with the other person and you aren't afraid to share your personal feelings—and you want to hear theirs—you're likely in love.
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I f you find yourself thinking about someone all the freaking time, impulsively tapping your phone every two minutes to see if they texted you you know, just to check! What about if you find that you suddenly hate sleeping without the other person next to you? Is that love?
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