She moved into the Delta sorority house, living with her best friend, Jess, in a bedroom they painted pink. Emile would testify that Ryan was abusive. A Delta interviewed by police said she believed he was verbally abusive. Emile broke up with Ryan at the end of freshman year.
In September, a voice mail and two emails asking Emile to visit the Wellness Center went unanswered. They sent increasingly strongly worded texts and then a certified letter through campus mail.
Five days later, Emile signed for an envelope containing her positive pregnancy test results. She never opened it. According to Oberman, from a legal standpoint, the school did its job. One weekend night in October, as Emile was coming down the stairs, she fell.
Emile blamed the fall on drunkenness, but the way she fell without catching herself seemed weird to Carrie, who also lived in the Delta house. According to Carrie, over the next few weeks, she heard that other Deltas had seen Emile fall in a similar manner.
Emile acknowledged the pregnancy to one person—Ryan. On their way to the clinic, an ice storm hit, and Emile and Ryan were turned around by the highway patrol. They never went again. In the spring, according to trial transcripts, Emile was turning down dinner invitations, sleeping more, and drinking less. Emile responded that nothing was wrong. In April, Rachel found Emile cooking hot dogs in the kitchen and tried again to ask.
Before she could finish the question, Emile denied she was pregnant. At a school of 2,, Deltas said, pregnant students were rare. Emile remembered hearing about another pregnant student from her Delta sisters. Emile took a tiny sip. Like many sororities, Delta Gamma Theta produces an abundance of swag. Dressed identically to her sisters, Emile stood out. In an early game, Emile dodged a ball and fell hard. Sitting on the sideline, Elise and another Delta exchanged glances. Delta made it to the final round.
It was Emile who made the winning catch, but she caught the hurtling ball right in her stomach. A week later, Emile went into labor. Tracing the noise, she walked around downstairs. From the empty study, she saw light beneath the door of the half bathroom, assumed the person using it was playing a game or watching a video on her phone, and went to take a shower. As in 96 percent of neonaticide cases, Emile gave birth at home, close to others yet entirely alone.
These are risky conditions for delivery: Even planned home births overseen by midwives are roughly 10 times more likely to result in a stillbirth than hospital deliveries, according to a study of 13 million U. Women accused of neonaticide often claim the baby was stillborn, and although it sounds like a convenient excuse, it seems that home births both increase the risk of stillbirths and create an environment ripe for neonaticide, wherein a desperate, exhausted young woman gives birth to an otherwise unaccounted-for infant in a home where others are statistically likely to be present.
I started to panic because I didn't know what to do. She had stomach pain and diarrhea the night before—a bug going around campus, she thought. When she woke up that morning, she went to the study bathroom feeling like she needed to defecate. I think I helped with her shoulder, to help pull her out into the toilet. The chief forensic pathologist would describe her as 6. There were no bruises, signs of strangulation, or stab wounds.
The toilet clogged and overflowed. Exhausted and lightheaded, Emile lay down on the couch in the study. As soon as she could stand again, Emile went back to the bathroom, frantic to clean everything up. Emile drove. Back in their room, the two watched TV until some Deltas arrived asking if anyone wanted to get ice cream. Jess went; Emile stayed behind. Again, Emile confided in Ryan. When EMTs climbed the stairs a few minutes later, they found Emile sitting on her bed, cross-legged despite vaginal tears that would require stitches, working on a school paper.
Sandy learned something happened after one of the Deltas messaged her on Facebook. Emile says none of the Muskingum staffers she saw that night encouraged her to go to the hospital, suggested she talk to a lawyer, or offered to accompany her to the station.
According to trial transcripts, over five interviews that lasted until a. By the second, she said it was maybe breathing and moving; by the fourth that it was moving a little bit and making some noises.
Emile was bleeding heavily and spent breaks between interviews in the bathroom, restuffing her vagina with paper towels. She says she slept on the floor in the station break room. On April 25, 81 hours after Emile had given birth, Sandy took her to the hospital, where she was treated for an infection and excessive bleeding.
A court-appointed psychologist later diagnosed Emile with PTSD, major depression, and panic disorder. At home, Emile slept through the day and stayed up all night. In one late-night drawing made during this period, Emile is holding a newborn with angel wings and kissing her forehead. Sandy suggested that Emile give her daughter a name. Emile barely responded when Sandy threw out ideas, but after a few days, Emile shared her decision. Her high school boyfriend declined to be interviewed for this story.
If she resigns or is asked to leave but stays at the same school instead of transfer to go alum , do you ask her to remove the letters from her FB page? Thanks for your help. If a sorority members resigns or is terminated, regardless of what the circumstances are, she should remove her letters from her FB page, as well as any photos of her wearing or using sorority paraphernalia which she should of course return to the chapter.
Until a termination is final, a sorority member should not be asked to do this as she is still a member. As far as your current situation, your first step should be to check with your national HQ and see if there are any national bylaws you have to follow. If there aren't Is this a local or a young sorority? Would you have non-GC resources to use in figuring this out? One of my sisters at my chapter got pregnant last year in the fall and was about 8 months pregnant during recruitment in January.
A lot of PNMs loved seeing her there because it just proved that we were all there for each other no matter what. This also happened to a girl in another chapter at my school and they handled it the same way. I don't know what your national policy on the matter is, but if there is none, I would treat the girl like any other sister and let her make her own decision as to what to do about her membership. She may need her sisters more than ever. So the PNMs didn't attach a negative stigma to that situation?
I'd be curious to know what was going through their minds. Where is your school located, geographically - and do your students consider themselves conservative or liberal? I think our schools may differ in makeup and overall philosophy My school is located in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia which is super conservative and religious.
It's a pretty small school so you pretty much know what's going on at all times. I know a sorority at my school had a situation where a member became pregnant as an active. Their national HQ had a bylaw that forced the member to become an early alumna. Although pregnancy is a beautiful thing, I don't think that it necessarily lines up with what PNMs might expect.
Personally, I would have been weirded out. It would be cool if an advisor or an alum was pregnant and helped out with recruitment, but a pregnant active seems a bit strange to me. I guess how people would respond would vary greatly from campus to campus.
Discussing it here is pointless. Could be worse, could be at Regent. When I was a collegian, a member of my chapter got pregnant and was forced into alumna status by the president of my chapter with complete disregard for chapter bylaws and international rules. The president also seemed to forget the fact that while none of them were pregnant as actives or new members, there were a number of moms who were active in our chapter during that particular time period.
While the member in question probably would have changed status herself since she was busting her butt trying to graduate early plus preparing for the baby, forcing her into it ensured that she cut off friendships with most of the active members and definitely colored her entire sorority experience in a negative way.
This was particularly sad for me because she was a leading reason why I joined. So, in addition to having a baby a little sooner than planned which should have been a joyous experience for her, as she always wanted to have kids and did want to have them soon after graduation , and dealing with the stress of that plus the stress of finishing up school, the chapter as an entity effectively turned their backs on her minus a few members who stuck by her.
The point of this anecdote is tread lightly, consult chapter advisors and international rules, and don't force her into anything if you don't have to.
Sometimes showing true sisterhood and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment. I'm proud that your chapter placed support of a sister and friend over concerns about whether she would "sell well" among PNMs.
Emphasis on the bolded. Sometimes showing true sisterhood [or brotherhood] and support is more important than looking bad to a bunch of PNMs during recruitment. I wish every house had this sentence hanging on the wall. Yes, but that won't get members paying dues coming bursting through the doors, and that is what the organizations care about at the end of the day.
You can be friends with whomever you want, but recruitment is recruitment, and the focus is on the chapter's image. In my experience, that did more damage than letting her be. Whoa, all the guy said was that this is a good philosophy to live by. Rather than worrying about how every PNM views you, you should take into consideration your sisters' feelings first.
I mean, geez, I feel like if I wrote "Live. And not everything is funny.. And not every guy is going to like your ass. This person might want to skip recruitment which has nothing to do with the stigma of a pregnant active.
Pffft, I was healthier when I was preggo versus not. I never got sick well, only if I smelled chicken, and that wasn't until my 3rd trimester , my skin and hair looked amazing I love prenatal vitamins , and I was horny all the time.
Pregnancy is different for everyone. This means the school can request a medical clearance from your doctor to allow you to continue participating in your sport, but only if they require that from other athletes with temporary disabilities. Your coach must be willing to modify workouts and training as your pregnancy progresses to keep you and your baby safe—just like they would for a temporarily injured athlete.
You can also find more summarized information on pregnant athletes and Title IX here. You cannot lose your scholarship, athletic or merit-based, just because you are pregnant. You should also know that NCAA bylaws allow a female student-athlete to apply for an additional year of eligibility if her athletic career is interrupted by pregnancy.
And your four-year academic scholarship the university awarded you when you applied for school? Believe it or not, you can remain in your current housing situation while pregnant. In fact, students who have been kicked out of their dorms due to pregnancy have fought back against their schools and won , changing problematic and illegal policies in the process. Although schools may require that you find alternative housing once your baby is born some campuses even have housing for parenting students!
You have the right to continue your education and strive for your dreams. Sometimes a school may not have a Title IX coordinator because of exemptions although most private schools receive some federal funds and must have one.
Try contacting your dean of students and asking if your campus has a Title coordinator. If you think you have experienced discrimination for any of the reasons listed above, or others, start documenting the incidents and file a complaint within days.
Here is a helpful guide for filing a Title IX complaint. You are not alone. It is a huge commitment. And you will be balancing a new baby and school. I'd wait til you get a routine going and try in spring or the following fall semester.
My sisters were so interested in my experiences and so excited for me. Since I was the first of them to have a baby I know that in the future they will come to me for advice. They even threw me a baby shower and they all pitched in and bought me the crib!
Now they say that I have 80 possible babysitters lol. I say carpe diem seize the day and go rush in the Fall. The worst that could happen is that you find that you don't have the time and energy for all the pledge events, so they will postpone your bid until next semester. If they are not understanding and accepting of your situation now, then they're probably not the group you want.
As far as being a liability I don't see how that's the case unless the sorority hazes which is illegal! I would definitely wait a semester and make sure that it's still something you want after your baby is here because it's a huge commitment. I was due this past Jan had him in feb and my fall semester was still very difficult just maintaining school and a healthy baby.
I am already a member of a sorority and all of my sisters were very supportive. However I was not able to be "active" my own choice ; thinking back to the pledging process, it would have been impossible that far along in my pregnancy. As PP have said, my sorority also does not even allow pregnant girls to pledge because it's a liability. I know waiting another semester seems like a long time, but believe me, with all you've got to look forward to, it will fly by. What sort of things do these sororities require their pledges to do that it would be a liability for a pregnant girl to do?
Mine would not have an issue with it but Gamma Phi Beta EH chapter is also very strict about not allowing hazing of any kind. None of our New Member process requires anything physical. If I was rushing and heard that a chapter didn't allow a potential member because she was pregnant, I would think they were either being judgemental or that they hazed and I would stay away from them.
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