Existence is a nightmare! Just kidding. Managing our exposure to each other is a complicated thing, though. Everyone needs alone time, but experts agree that we need a considerable amount of human interaction and a few deep, meaningful connections to feel that ever-elusive thing known as contentment. Studies show that those who complain or, more gently put, share their issues with a friend about their problems feel physical relief after commiserating.
An excess of cortisol is something your system might not handle well, so talk out your issues with a friend before you bottle up the problems and get overwhelmed. When your body responds to stress by activating fight-or-flight responses, it becomes harder to shut down at the end of the day and rest, even if you desperately want to just be alone and crash. Being part of a social species is kind of a bitch, huh?
Unless you have plans to be productive in your solitude, try leaving your apartment to meet a friend or just walk in a populated place, like a park, to take a break from your brain. While the hormone cortisol fights inflammation, the fight-or-flight response that loneliness causes drives your body to produce norepinephrine, which actually elevates your white blood cell production and shuts down your bodies natural viral defenses. In the long-term, lonely people are more likely to fall victim to issues associated with chronic inflammation: cancer, sensitivity to viruses, and infection, to name a few.
These types of feelings are typically brief and not considered chronic. However, when feelings of loneliness and isolation worsen and continue long-term , there may be more serious signs and symptoms to be aware of and steps you can take to help deal with chronic loneliness. Chronic loneliness occurs when feelings of loneliness and uncomfortable social isolation go on for a long period of time. It can also be accompanied by deeply rooted feelings of inadequacy, poor self-esteem, and self-loathing.
Ongoing loneliness can afflict even the most seemingly outgoing person. Being the "life of the party" doesn't necessarily exclude someone from being chronically lonely. This type of chronic, or long-term loneliness, can eventually impact all areas of your life. Chronic loneliness symptoms and signs can differ depending on who you are and your situation. If you consistently feel some or all of the following, you may be dealing with chronic loneliness:.
Long-term feelings of loneliness can affect your health in many ways. For example, chronic loneliness can drive up cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is a hormone that your body creates when under stress. Over time, higher cortisol levels can lead to inflammation, excess weight gain, insulin resistance, problems concentrating, and more. If left unchecked, these chronic loneliness symptoms can put you at greater risk for more serious medical and emotional problems, including: 3.
If you think you are suffering with long-term feelings of loneliness, talk to your doctor or a therapist. Research shows that chronic loneliness can have a significant impact on your overall health, including your brain health.
Some studies even suggest that there may be a link between loneliness and an increased risk for developing dementia and Alzheimer's. Long term feelings of loneliness and social isolation can also reduce cognitive skills 6 , such as the ability to concentrate, make decisions, problem-solve, and even change negative self-beliefs. A review of 40 studies on social isolation and loneliness found evidence to link these states to a higher risk of early death, cardiovascular issues , and worsened mental health.
Another study looked at results from the Swiss Health Survey, and found evidence to link loneliness to increased risk for:. Results of a study looking at more than 2, twins suggest that young adults who felt lonely tended to have a lower quality of sleep. The study also found evidence to suggest that experiencing violence could worsen feelings of loneliness.
A study looking at adults supports the link between loneliness and poor sleep quality, going on to suggest that lower sleep quality can cause difficulty functioning during the day.
According to a study of older adults, both loneliness and social isolation can affect sleep quality. A study looking at the link between loneliness and social isolation in 1, twin pairs found evidence to suggest lonely people often had depression.
Results of a study looking at 8, adults age 65 and older suggest both loneliness and depression increase risk of cognitive decline. While loneliness may not be a diagnosable condition, you can still get help dealing with feelings of loneliness. In all cases, talking to a therapist can help you find ways to make changes. If you feel lonely without really knowing why, you may find therapy helps narrow down possible causes.
A professional can help you examine any situations in your life that might be creating these feelings. These may not completely address any underlying causes of loneliness, such as mental health issues or relationship concerns, but they can help you get started. If feelings of loneliness linger, it may be a good idea to reach out to your healthcare provider or a mental health professional. But when I discovered that they also had an existing mental health issue that seemed related, addressing that issue often took care of the loneliness on its own.
In this final section, I want to cover some general guidelines for being helpful to other people who are struggling with loneliness. Loneliness is an emotion characterized by the feeling of pain caused by a perceived lack of intimacy with other people or oneself. And while loneliness can be experienced differently depending on your history, personality, and circumstances, the following ideas are generally helpful for thinking about loneliness and how to address it:.
Reading this article has put clarity to many of the feelings I have had since my husband died in April after a 20 year battle with blood cancers. It is the lack of emotional intimacy that has me so down. He and I, despite the challenges of his illness, had a wonderful marriage and life together for nearly 30 years. I feel a sense of relief now, I have so many wonderful friends who are keep me busy in this COVID plagued world, and I enjoy my time with them.
I feel like I have struggled with some form of loneliness all of my life. I grew up with a disabled brother and always felt like an outsider in groups and often guilty for having needs that might burden my parents. I think this feeling of being set aside from others was two-directional in hindsight. Only at university did I start to build truly meaningful connections, a few of which have stood the test of time but over the years geography and jobs have spread us widely. The last few years I have increasingly felt apart from people and now my marriage is in real difficulties my sense of loneliness is more acute than ever.
Thanks for posting. I had to write out some of it as I read it, to make sure I was absorbing it in a deep way, and for consulting again in the future. Thank you very much. These sentences is exactly what I feel. I live a lonely life, I spent a lot of time alone and I like to be alone the most part, mainly because when I am with a lot people I still feel lonely.
It was very good to read this article to clear and understand a little bit more of my mind and my loneliness. Hi Nick. I really appreciate how you so clearly define and explain an issue, then get practical about how to change. You have a great ability to compartmentalise an issue and look at the contributing factors. This happens to be very much how my mind works, so your articles are a joy to read. Thank you for your work.
Now my parents have passed so I have time for myself now. I have interests, activities, friends who care and talk to me often, a good job, and have been dating.
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