The woman isn't put off by what others may think of the age difference because, again, she's not seeking the approval of anyone. Contrary to popular belief, most women find a burst of energy when they're older than they couldn't tap into when they were younger. Younger men are driven towards older women who know how to have fun. It's a great way for them to have a relationship filled with fun and excitement. They enjoy the time they spend traveling, exploring, and just enjoying each other.
In older women - younger man relationships, the woman takes control. She's the one that makes sure everything is taken care of, as it should be. She plans the dates, nights in, trips, and other activities. She's also open to spoiling the guy from time to time. Everyone, regardless of age, is open to being spoiled a little.
In most relationships where men date women in their age group, the woman looks for the man to do most planning. They prefer that the man take the lead, and some men prefer that the woman have this role.
This leads them to pursue older women who are more comfortable with the control aspect of the relationship. Men admire a woman that pursues them, and this is something that will be typically be done by an older woman. Older women see what they want, and they go after it. This confidence , which is often the result of more life experience, usually initializes most relationships where the man is younger than the woman.
Men get excited when they're being approached and not doing the approaching. It engages them physically, emotionally, and mentally. Almost all relationships begin with the idea and hope that they'll last forever. That's not always the case. Some individuals find that relationships with significant age gaps can be more fulfilling for a while. Still, eventually, age catches up with the younger person, and they feel less than fulfilled. Reports show that most marriages with significant age gaps end in divorce.
In relationships, sometimes love happens. But how do couples with age gaps make it work? It depends on whom you ask, and sometimes, the answer isn't what most would expect. Especially if the woman is older than her mate, other than building a relationship supported by relationship therapy , some couples refuse to let go of a relationship they enjoy, regardless of how hard the challenges may be or how large the age gap is.
In addition to being determined, couples also:. The most common relationship is one where the man is older than the woman. Although this is most acceptable in society , there is an upsurge of the opposite, older women and younger men. Most couples with this age gap cite companionship and fun as major contributors to the success of their relationship. There is always something new to be experienced when the partner is eager to learn, and younger men look forward to learning what their older mate can teach them.
Society places a stigma on the relationship where the man is younger, but should this be the norm? My girlfriends say it's because I don't look my age and that I should feel flattered. Well, I am not a "cougar," and I don't get turned on by younger men. I find it offensive when I am approached by them. While my single friends are being asked on romantic dates by professional older men, I'm being asked on dates by struggling college boys who have no car, no job and cramped living quarters with three other roommates.
It has reached the point that I just pretend to be married. But it's starting to bother me that mature men don't find me attractive. I have stopped wanting to go out because of this. What should I do? However, younger men may not be as forward as early with older women. Instead, they may want to test the waters to see if the older woman is receptive to their affection. As a result, they may flirt pretty heavily early on to see if the women are interested in them as well. He may call her, he may text her, he may even email her.
One way to do that is to keep the communication level high. Younger men who are into older women will make an effort to make a good impression on their kids. He wants to know all of her favorite hobbies. He wants to know where she grew up, he wants to know about her job.
He wants to know everything she has to say. He understands that she has more life experience, and as a result, he wants to learn everything she has to teach. He values her maturity and wants to live up to her expectations.
She makes him want to be a better man. For one thing, when one person is older than the other, each partner can come into the relationship with different levels of maturity, expectations, needs, and understanding of what a relationship is.
This is one of the things that cause relationships to fray. So as long as the older woman and the younger guy are on the same page, the relationship can definitely work.
It totally depends on the man! But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older — and for Fred, that still wasn't enough to produce the kind of emotional maturity and depth for which he searched. After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke:.
It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded — they know what they feel and why they feel it.
It has a snowball effect all the way around. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey. Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do. I considered it a hell of a jump start on life. Certainly, there are challenges for the men as well as the women in these relationships. For example, the issue of having or not having children came up repeatedly:. My second — I was 28 and she was 41 — lasted three years and we lived together for one year.
The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. There is a frenetic energy with a younger woman that can be very exciting and very cute, but not for my personality.
Neither of my relationships was about being mothered. Both women were professionals, very focused on their work lives and extremely confident and sure of themselves. That was very attractive to me. Ultimately, Lenny's last relationship ended when he wanted children and his partner of 43 did not. Of course, the issue of "Will I want children later on? In vitro fertilization by donor eggs and other reproductive methods have greatly changed the fertility prognosis for older women.
Pregnancy at ages once reserved for "miracles" is now a medical possibility. Other challenges for the younger men occurred in the form of disapproval and criticism from friends and colleagues similar, although not as severe, to what the older women experienced.
The men my age and older were jealous that I was with her. They would look at me as if I had something they wanted and didn't have and, because I was younger, they reacted more strongly.
And women my age disapproved of the relationship. I guess some of these people thought I was trying to prove something — I wasn't. Our relationship just made me feel great. She was great! I was proud of who she was and what we had together.
Overall, however, it seems that such criticism is not as big an obstacle for men in these relationships as for women. In fact, some men received support and admiration from peers and co-workers. They respected what I had with her, which was an emotional connection with an experienced, centered person. Most people's reactions have been good. There have been no negative attitudes or comments given to me that stick out in my head.
Actually, many people have asked my partner and me for advice. The men to whom we talked spoke about the advantages of being in relationships with older women in terms of the serenity and comfort, the growth opportunity and the honesty they were afforded. But more than any other advantage, they talked about the positive sexual relationships they experienced. They all commented that sex with older women was better. What negatives? I cried, I laughed, I went back for more. The advantages can be summed up in two words: intense marathon.
Are you kidding? An older woman is more sure of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner.
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